Friday, September 14, 2007

100 Greatest Human Beings Who Ever Lived: #79 Sir George Martin, CBE

You know what? Fuck Michael Jackson. I am so outraged about that goddamn diaper commercial, that Michael Jackson is getting stricken from the list. Can I do that? Sure. Why? Because it's my blog and Jacko's a douchebag for selling out the Beatles to sell bags for baby shit.

I'm replacing him here with Sir George Martin, CBE. If you've never heard of him, you've certainly heard the music he's produced before. He was the closest thing there ever was to a Fifth Beatle. Martin produced all of the Beatles' albums except for Let It Be, and that turned out to be an absolutely terrible fucking record, thanks to Phil "I allegedly murdered a struggling actress" Spector (might be able to strike the allegedly any minute now!).

And it's not like George Martin was just pushing buttons either. Where Lennon and McCartney were the raw writing talent of the band early on, Martin was the technical expert. None of the Beatles could read or write music and alot of the later stuff was jotted down by Martin and arranged for classically trained musicians to play. Some of his most notable stuff is playing the baroque sounding piano solo in "In My Life," arranging the orchestral build up in "A Day in the Life," and the circus music in "Being For the Benefit of Mr. Kite."

Also George Martin is a knight. A fucking knight. Suck it, Michael Jackson, you turd.

By the way, the John Cleese post will get done when I have time.

What the hell, man?

So I'm watching television the other day and a commercial for diapers comes on. The music being used: "All You Need is Luvs." That's right, they bastardized a simple, elegant, anti-war/bigotry/everything wrong with the world song to sell disposable diapers. Now I have never been the sort of person to denounce artists for using their music in commercials, even if it is rather tacky (Bob Seger and John Mellencamp, I'm looking at you!). But this is the bottom of the barrel. In my honest opinion, "All You Need Is Love" is probably the best thing, lyrically, that Lennon ever wrote and the fact that it's being used in a commercial for a product designed to hold baby piss and shit is personally offensive to me.

Now lest either one of my readers get offended and angry at Sir Paul, Ringo, Yoko, or Olivia, bear in mind that the Beatles and their survivors don't hold the rights to the vast majority of their songs. For that we can actually blame none other than Michael Jackson, the little boy-diddling fuck. As a matter of fact, when Paul tried to buy the rights to the songs when they came up at auction, Jacko outbid him and proceeded to allow Nike to use "Revolution" to sell shoes, something that outraged Paul and led to a falling out between the two musicians.

Come to think of it, it's probably a really bad idea to feud with Paul McCartney. Think about it-- he has most famously and publicly feuded with Michael Jackson and Phil Spector and look what happened to both of those assholes.

Anyway, this whole advertisement thing annoyed me, and got me thinking-- Have you ever been offended by a song you like alot in a commercial? The other one that comes to mind that could have pissed alot of people off was Nike using "Spirit in the Sky," a song about dying in Viet Nam and going to heaven to meet Jeebus, for a football commercial. Feel free to post in the comments... please?