Tuesday, April 3, 2007

100 Greatest Human Beings Who Ever Lived: 100-90, The Pantheon of Internet Celebrities

Long over due, here is the beginning of The List of the 100 Greatest Human Beings Who Ever Lived beginning with #100, and introducing the Pantheon of Internet Celebrities. I defined "Internet Celebrities" as people who would not otherwise be known at all, either for writing, performing something, or having a website or blog. Where possible, I have included links. Here we go....

100. Numa Numa Kid- When Al Gore invented the internet sometime in the 1970s, he could not possibly have foreseen the development of the phenomenon of random people making videos of themselves sitting in front of their computers, lip-synching to random songs. Numa Numa Kid is the standard-bearer for this phenomenon and if you haven't seen this utterly bizarre video, well then you really just don't know much about the internet do you?

99. The Big Man, a. k. a. The Kid from Brooklyn- If you've ever sat through an episode of the Sopranos, you have almost certainly said to yourself, "Do people like this REALLY exist?" The answer is, apparently, "YES" in all caps. Similar to the aforementioned phenomenon of people singing/lip-synching in front of their desktops, there is also the "lunatics yelling/pontificating/editorializing about things in front of a webcam." The Big Man, who recently had to start charging people to watch his video, and then apologized for having to do so, is a pretty stereotypical loud New Yorker who expresses boisterous, often moronic , but almost always entertaining opinions about just about everything. He is also the first of many people on this list that I will classify as "batshit insane."

98. The Brothers Chaps, Homestarrunner.com- Yes, Strong Bad isn't as funny as he used to be. But these guys run kind of contrary to the whole idea that the internet is anarchy and everything on there is pure filth, utterly commercialized, or just crap. While their site is certainly anarchic, they have somehow managed to keep it clean, pretty good, and have kept out advertising by selling products that people actually want to buy. Right now you can help keep the site afloat by buying t-shirts or even action figures. I think it's pretty cool that they thought a little outside the box and have managed to keep the site going without resorting to asking for donations or selling ads. Huzzah for them!

97. MySpace Tom- I have to admit that even though I do have a MySpace, I am not a big fan, especially not when I get friend requests from people I don't know or people who are clearly promoting their amateur porno websites. But the fact is that MySpace ended up going on the market to Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp for more than half a BILLION dollars and made MySpace Tom and company incredibly wealthy. Now there is apparently some controversy about whether Tom is actually a "co-founder" or whatever. Doesn't matter. Tom is EVERYONE'S friend on there and is a bona fide internet celebrity. I can only imagine how much ass this gets him.

96. Matt Drudge- Alright he's kind of a sleazy scumbag with a gawdawful radio show. And his website is pretty drab and often reports unreliable stories that govholes frequently link to in orgasmic delight whenever he puts something on there that confirms said govholes' world view. So yes, Matt Drudge is an asshole in a fedora. But let's not forget that Matt Drudge broke the Lewinsky story nine years ago and helped to bring about one of the most surreal and, frankly, entertaining political events in recent history. Let's give the man some credit for at least that much.

95. Star Wars Kid- This kid got made fun of on Arrested Development. I don't think there's anything for me to add beyond that. Except that he's apparently some Quebecois who taped himself fooling around after school, and somehow the tape got out onto the Information Superhighway causing him much embarassment. Poor kid.

94. Bill Simmons, a.k.a. the Sports Guy, formerly the Boston Sports Guy- Yes, he jumped the shark a while ago, and isn't really as funny as he used to be, but let's consider the following: He started out as a nobody, an aspiring writer who was just very funny and managed to parley his own little website into a gig as probably the best writer not named Peter Gammons at the World Wide Leader in Sports. Also he recently inked a deal with the folks at Bristol to work on programming. That is pretty impressive if you ask me.

93. Will Leitch, Deadspin.com- He is the editor of the best and funniest sports blog on the internet. If you don't agree with me on that, I will fight you. And that's no lie.

92. Max Goldberg, YTMND.com- When he put up this simple page, he changed the world. It helped bring about a huge website with its own culture and inside references and fads. ytmnd.com is a great way to waste time that you don't have, and can be extremely entertaining at its best, and absolutely baffling at other times (though those two are hardly mutually exclusive).

91. Ryan North, Dinosaur Comics- With all due respect to the Perry Bible Fellowship, Penny Arcade, or Red Meat, Dinosaur Comics is the best strip on the web. I would say more, but I think the strip speaks for itself. If you've never seen it, check it out.

90. Leeeeeeeeroy Jenkins- The Greatest Human Being Who is an Internet Celebrity Who Ever Lived is the voice behind quite possibly the funniest video I have ever seen on the internet. For the record, I have never in my life played World of Warcraft, and this video STILL puts me in stitches. In fact, I'm gonna just go ahead and embed it here.




Next time, 89-80, Non-English Speaking Foreigners Who Amuse Me! Stay tuned!

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