100 Greatest Human Beings Who Ever Lived: #79 Wacko Jacko

People tend to forget this, but there really was a time when Michael Jackson wasn't just some self-loathing weirdo child molester with Peter Pan syndrome, but was actually THE biggest musical star on the planet. Really. This actually happened, youngsters. Admittedly, I am barely old enough to remember that really cool "Black or White" video with the morphing people (a sequence which featured a then unknown Tyra Banks, an appearance that in retrospect looks glaringly like a cameo, but isn't really), a video that really marked the beginning of the end for the King of Pop. Still, I think people forget the impact that this dude had on culture.

Thriller was, until the Eagles released their Greatest Hits album, THE best selling album of all time. To date, it has sold 27 million copies. That's platinum 27 times over kids. By RIAA standards this means it's double, and almost triple, diamond. This is absolutely absurd. Yes, I know, popular does not always equal good. I mean, Mariah Carey's The Emancipation of Mimi went platinum a few times over. And she's awful.

So don't take the word of 27 million units sold and just listen to the record. You will be extremely hard pressed to find a better album, top to bottom. Not only is there NOT a single bad song on that record, but every song is good to classic. "Billy Jean", "Wanna Be Startin Something", "Beat It" and, of course the title track, "Thriller."

It's easy to forget that if Michael Jackson was not quite the inventor of the music video, he certainly revolutionized the concept. Just think of where we'd be without that "Thriller" video. My cousin, who was about fifteen around the time Thriller came out, went out and bought that damn red jacket from the video. This is how cool Michael Jackson was.

At the end of the day, I think the best way to describe the life of Wacko Jacko is surreal. It is absolutely surreal to believe now in retrospect that Michael Jackson was ever popular, and it probably would have been almost as surreal had you been told in 1984 that he'd be a pariah at the turn of the century. The man is like a character out of Shakespeare... who happens to have a predilection for young boys.

Next on the list, coming in at #78, the man that Barzini and Carlo set up at the toll plaza on the Jones Beach Causeway...